Listen: Will Smith did not slap-rifice Chris Rock so that we can be forgiven for our sins—just so rappers could go on live air and talk about slave roleplay with white women.
Nah, we not doing this.
*M’Baku voice* We will not have it. I SAID WE WILL NOT HAVE IT, OH!
“I like to be like a runaway slave. I like to play like a runaway slave. I like to play like a disobedient slave with a white woman.
You’re massa’s wife and I just got whooped by him, and the whole time I been eyeballing you and you eyeballing me and I’m gonna come all sweaty after just getting whooped, and you’re going to say, ‘No, Billy-Joe, no. Massa’s not gonna like it. And I’m like, ‘You know you want it lady.’”
*insert disgruntled Umar Johnson meme here*
Look, dammit—ever since Kanye West was out here disrespecting the ancestors by declaring that “Slavery was a choice,” I’ve been arguing that Kanye’s “Chess not checkers, but really I can just barely play Connect Four” head-a** doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Now here comes Kunta Karen-bae contradicting me on Angela’s show.
Now, later on, Maino recorded himself clarifying things by asking, “You n****s can’t take a joke?”
“You n****s ain’t got no sense of humor?” he asked while sitting next to Dipset rapper Jim Jones.
While Maino was explaining that he just likes to “play around” and he was just joking about his sexcapades featuring Becky with the Amistad fetish, Jim Jones, of all people, chimed in saying, “That’s what I told them too.”
First of all, I need Jones to stop playing around in people’s faces.
That “joke” was weird. He “joked” about his mom teaching him how to French kiss by French kissing him.
That week, when people who were Googling Jim Jones for the first time got the white cult leader Jim Jones, they still got to the rapper Jim Jones next and were like, “bro, this n***a is weird.”
And the same thing goes for Maino (which I’m pretty sure is short for “Maino-mane, there’s a chain gang bang”).
Maino’s “joke” did not sound like a joke. It was weird and elaborate AF. There was no comedic timing whatsoever. There was no punch line outside of massa’ punching him in the face before getting his rocks off to his slave and his wife, who is apparently down with OPP. (Oppressed Plantation Property.)
Anyway, Maino posted another video on Instagram that didn’t directly address his Plantation PornHub remarks, but he did seem to be responding to being dragged up and down the internet (which he definitely would not prefer over getting dragged by a white woman up and down a cotton field.)
“Yo, it just hit me. I just realized that it is absolute freedom is not giving a fu**.,” he said. “It is absolute freedom in not giving a fu** about what nobody think, what nobody said, what nobody has about anything to say about what you got going on.”
He captioned the post, “Every day my goal is to Give One less F***!!! Ultimate Freedom!!!”
But… Never mind.